Sick Kitty

I dropped off my primary cat, Katya, at the vet and left her all day with mean evil strangers. In our eight-year relationship, this is the first time I've ever left her at the vet. She mewed in the carrier the whole way there.

I hope she will forgive me.

She's been losing weight and the vet is concerned. She's lost about 2 pounds over the last year, which is about 25% of her weight. She was having kidney problems, but the vet doesn't think that would account for such a dramatic weight loss. He thinks it's something else.

So she's getting some kitty ex-rays today.

If the ex-rays don't turn up anything, we may have to consider exploratory surgery, which would not only be expensive, but also risky in a cat her age (she's 14.) I'm not enthusiastic about that.

Since she's so furry, I hadn't noticed the weight loss. And she doesn't seem to act sick, whatever that means in a cat. But ever since I found out about this last week, I have noticed slight changes in her behavior. Is she walking more gingerly than usual, or did I imagine it? She has been more affectionate the past few months, but I thought that was because she only has one primary lapgiver now. Are sick cats more affectionate?

Because of her kidney thing, she's supposed to be drinking more water to compensate for it. But I haven't noticed an increase in the amount of water she's drinking. The vet recommended a cat fountain, because studies show that cats are more likely to drink from running water than a stagnant dish.

So this weekend I spent $50 on a zen-like contraption that runs water through a spigot and shoots it into a bowl. It's become another background noise in my apartment-- the sound of water running 24/7. I was convinced my cats would love it and imagined them running to it and licking the urine-like stream of flowing water.

Instead, Hermione, my auxiliary cat, was afraid of it at first. Katya just ignored it. It's hard to know whether they're using it or not, since the bowl is so big it's hard to see a difference in the water level, and they don't usually drink in front of an audience.

I also started buying them wet food in an effort to get Katya's weight up. The vet doesn't think her weight-loss could be accounted for by her not liking her regular food, but I'm still in denial that there's anything seriously wrong. She goes bonkers for wet food, and even if it doesn't help her gain weight, I can at least make her happy during this crisis.

DemoCrap-hics

After the 2000 presidential election Ralph Nader tried to argue that he had taken just as many votes away from George Bush as he did from Al Gore.

I thought that this was a patently absurd claim. Why would someone who likes a conservative evangelical pro-business cowboy end up going with the liberal consumer advocate from the Green Party?

Why indeed. As much as I like to pigeonhole people into nice orderly stereotypes, there will always be individuals who insist on having complicated and unpredictable reasons for supporting something.

There are gay Republicans. Feminist porn stars. Jewish holocaust deniers. Black supporters of the confederate flag. Some of these people may have more rational justification than others, but I'm learning that whatever weird contradictory demographic you can think of, there's someone out there who belongs to it.

What made me come to this conclusion was listening to a story on This American Life yesterday about a group of life-long Democrats who are campaigning for McCain in Pennsylvania. These are not moderate fair-whether Democrats, but people who appear to be passionate about Democratic ideals. They said they'd never voted Republican in their life. And it's not like they were simply being racist (like the union members in a following story who told campaigners outright, "I will never vote for a n***er for president.") One of them was black, and even set off my gaydar when I heard him talk. A gay black Democrat supporting McCain? Seriously, WTF?

And they weren't just content to vote for McCain, they were campaigning for him. Hard. One guy had taken a week off from work in New York to travel to Pennsylvania and go door to door talking up McCain. It wasn't just their support for McCain that confused me, but their fervor about it.

My only explanation is that they were disgruntled Hillary Clinton supporters who worked up such a hatred for Obama during the primaries that they're putting all their energy into getting him defeated in the general election. People interviewed said as much, saying that the Democratic party threw Hillary under the bus and they didn't trust Obama. That's all well and good, but why would you put all your energy into undermining the very issues that your candidate (Clinton) supports? There's really no rational explanation for that. Then again, people are complicated and there are always conflicting motivations that, if you could dig deep enough, there must be a logical explanation for. Even if the explanation is that they're schizophrenic.

Anyway, this got me wondering if there are any demographic groups that don't exist. The world is a big place (6+ billion people) and the sheer numbers alone make almost every combination possible. From what I've seen so far, I wouldn't be surprised if there were a lesbian libertarian Mormon Kucinich supporter out there.

Here's one that occurred to me, though: Is there anyone out there who is an enthusiastic, passionate supporter of both Obama and McCain? Someone who's undecided, not because they're lukewarm about the candidates, but because they can't decide between two such fantastic choices?

I'd like to meet that person. And write a dissertation on them.

Political Plumbing

So I watched the debate last night and had this thought: Somewhere in Ohio a poor plumber is about to be descended upon by a media circus. Perhaps they already got to him, but I'm trying to avoid any more political news this morning.

I probably should have written "poor plumber" in quotes, because as far as I could make out, Joe the Plumber is not poor. John McCain tried to use him as a poster child for Obama's tax policies, but as far as I could make out from the debate last night, Joe's family is not about to go hungry.

It's always difficult to read between the lines in these kinds of debates, but it appeared to me that McCain was knocking Obama because Joe the Plumber would have to pay more in taxes if the latter gets elected. Obama has made it abundantly clear in his three debates that the only people who are in danger of increased taxes under his plan are people who make more than $250,000 a year. So, reading between the lines, I assumed that Joe makes more than that. I think they even hinted that Joe owns his own business. McCain even alluded to this when he mocked Obama's plan with a statement like, "Sorry, Joe, you make too much money."

Is McCain really trying to garner pity from blue-collar Americans by using what is essentially a businessman who makes a quarter million dollars a year out to be a poor victim of Obama's tax policy? Nice touch that the guy's a plumber, setting up the image that he's just a working class Joe. Never mind that he's in the top 5% income bracket.

You know what I say to that? (If all of my assumptions above are correct.) Fuck Joe the Plumber. Why the hell are we arguing about his economic welfare when 1/3 of America's children don't have adequate health insurance? When the gap between the rich and the poor in the U.S. has grown steadily over the past 30 years? Let's have Joe pay his dues to the country that has given him so much economic prosperity.

Unless I'm wrong about his economic status. In which case I go on record as saying, "Oops, sorry, my bad."

Bronze League Champion!

My "championship" match in the Bronze league tonight was perhaps the greatest anti-climax in the history of Bronze league championships. I have no way of knowing whether that's true, but that's how I imagine it to be.


I beat my opponent 6-0, 6-2, in the my most lopsided match of the year. I hardly broke a sweat. This was supposed to be my toughest competition in a league where I keep squeaking out victories in tense tiebreakers (four of them in the previous five matches.)

The match was tense for the first three games, but after I won three close deuce games in a row, he kind of folded and I ran away with the first set. It turns out that positive thinking is helping me on the tennis court. I tell myself, "You're the one who wins deuce games, you're the one who wins deuce games..." and I do.

In the second set he won the first two games, but I broke his serve to make it 2-1. In the next game, on my serve, he went up 40-0 and looked like he was going to take a 3-1 lead. But bolstered by the confidence of winning nine straight league matches, I told myself, "You're going to come back and win this game, and that will break his spirit." And I did exactly that. I won five straight points, tied it up and 2-2, and after that he seemed to give up. I won the next four games pretty easily.

I was almost embarrassed by the ease of my victory. I know he didn't play very well, but I don't know how much my game affected his play. (I served really well. In fact, I got an ace in the last game, which I never do.) After a match I usually tell my opponents, "Good game" or "You really ran me around out there" or "We had some great points." But I didn't know what to say to him. I wanted to say that I was shocked that it wasn't closer, but that might have been rubbing it in.
I am a champion! I feel like announcing it to everyone I know. I want to wear a t-shirt that says, "Ask me about the Bronze league!"

It's not exactly like the birth of a child or winning a Nobel prize, but after the year I've had, it's nice to know there is one area of my life where I'm a winner.

Faith in Government & Magnet Politics

Sarah Palin recently told a crowd of supporters that she doesn't put her faith in government, she puts her faith in "you."

That's very nice of her, but I'd rather that someone seeking the job of running the government would at least believe in it.

I'm so tired of Republicans taking control of our federal government just so that they can self-fulfill the prophecy that government can't help you solve your problems. Well, of course it's not going to help if the people running the show don't even believe in it.

How would it look if I were applying for a job as a college president and I announced to the hiring committee that I didn't believe in education? I believe in you to educate yourselves! How far do you think I would get with that attitude?

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Obama Car Magnet Update

I finally received my Obama/Biden car magnet last week.

But putting it on my car was not so simple. It turns out that my Prius does not have any metal on its hind parts that a magnet will stick to. So I would have to put it on the side. But where?

Since then the magnet has traveled all over my car, starting at the back left side near the gas hole, then to the back seat door, then the driver's side door, then the front passenger side, and now I think it's on the back passenger side.

The problem is, I want to put it in a place where it does the most good. When I had it on the driver's side I realized that people could only see it when they were passing me. If this was someone who was impatient and had to wait behind me on the highway until I could get over to the right lane, they might be pissed at me for holding them up. Then they see my Obama sticker and think negative thoughts about him. "That damn Obama supporter held me up on the highway! I ain't voting for him!" It would probably also play into their stereotype of the Obama supporter as a liberal latte-drinking wuss who's too high on grass to drive fast on the highway.

So I moved the magnet over to the passenger side, where the only people who see it are drivers who I pass. They will associate Obama with a reckless fast-driving maniac. To them my political magnet shows that I have poor impulse control and I'm just swept up in the Obamamania with no regard for the rule of law. The other disadvantage of using the passenger side is that I get passed more often than I pass (owing to the fact that I geek-out about my mileage now that I have a Prius.) Which means fewer people see the magnet on that side.

What a dilemma.

Socking My Drawers

I've re-arranged my bedroom four times over the past six weeks. Mostly this just involved moving or shifting my bed, but the last time I moved the dressers around to give the space an entirely new orientation.

I have two dressers in the room. The big one is the main repository for my clothes. From the second, smaller, crappy one, I only use the top drawer. It holds my white athletic socks. Not the formal work socks or the black casual athletic socks. Just the white ones. You wouldn't think I'd need an entire drawer just for white athletic socks, but I do. Ever since the unfortunate blister incident of last January I've taken my sock situation very seriously. (According to my ex, the blister incident was a catalyst for the dissolution of my marriage, but that's another story.) I have six different kinds of white athletic socks which are worn in various combinations depending on season, level of tennis activity, and leisure needs.


The second, smaller, crappy dresser used to be reserved for some of my ex-wife's things, and when she moved out I moved my white socks into it. In the most recent moving-around it has been recruited to sit in front of the window, where the cats perch on top of it to watch "kitty TV."

Here is why I call it the "crappy" dresser. The drawers don't fit well, so when you open the top drawer too far it makes a sudden jump down as if it's going to fall. It hangs there precariously like Indiana Jones hanging off the edge of a cliff. All of the contents of the drawer slide forward which upsets the delicate arrangement of my socks. It also rubs itself in some wrong way so that sawdust and wood shavings collect when you open the drawer.

The other day I opened the drawer to get out my tennis socks for a match I had in about 20 minutes. The drawer made like it was going to fall, so I reacted instinctively with my lightning-quick hands to catch it. Only it didn't fall and my hand cracked against it. My right hand. It opened a cut between my index finger and middle finger and the area started to swell. Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck! That's one of my playing-tennis hands, I thought. And I only have two. Godfuckingdammit!! Twenty minutes before a match.

I washed out the cut, put some antibacterial ointment on it, patched it up with a band-aid, and hoped the swelling wouldn't affect my tennis too much. During the warm-ups I tried about three different band-aid options before I found one I liked. Then I went out and won my seventh straight match of the indoor season. I played another tiebreak and won (7-0), bringing my consecutive tiebreak winning streak to eight. (I thought of putting a counter on my website for this, but then I'm afraid I'll jinx it.) Today, two days later, the cut is healing but there's a black and blue (and yellowing) blotch between my knuckles.

So that's it for the dresser. My ex's former dresser has hurt me for the last time. It's dead to me. I plan to replace it as soon as I have some time to go furniture shopping. My other dresser is too full anyway, and it might be nice to spread out my clothes over two whole dressers.

So if anyone's looking to get rid of a competent dresser, I'm in the market for one.

Must be good with socks.